Clay Aiken to be Honored at GLBT Center
March 31, 2009 by James Hipps
I ran across a blog dedicated to Clay Aiken appropriately titled “Clay Aiken 411“, which has a post about the former “American Idol” being honored at an upcoming Family Equality Council event in NYC on April 21st. Here is an excerpt:
The event brings together LGBT parents, friends and allies to celebrate the progress we have made as a community of loving families towards full equality. In 2009, Night at the Tavern will feature a cocktail reception, a full-course seated dinner, live entertainment, a silent auction and the opportunity to mingle with old friends and meet new ones. At the event they will be honoring Platinum Recording Artist Clay Aiken and Director of Center Kids at the GLBT Center in New York Terry Boggis and will have a special guest performance by Linda Eder.
I know I preach about NOT being negative, and I know I preach about building community, however, I’m a little put off by this one. Here is a guy, who basically refused to come out as gay, for quite a while (even though it really wasn’t a question….was it?) and now he has a kid, comes out as gay, and all of a sudden he’s some sort of hero to the LBGT community? I think not.
I would love to see some more deserving individuals, like my neighbor down the street, who has been out since a teen, has raised two children that were her cousin’s, (who died in an auto accident) yet isn’t by Florida law legally able to adopt the children she has cared for and raised for the past 15 years honored.
I would like to see those who have truly endured the hate, intolerance and bigotry of homophobia, yet managed to maintain their loving, caring spirit while raising a family honored instead of some guy, who after he obtained his financial goal and decided coming out was no longer a “threat” to his public career be embraced with honors by the LGBT community.
I want to make this perfectly clear, I do not have a beef with Clay Aiken, but I do however think there are people much more deserving of being honored. We all come out in our own time, and it’s unfortunate the world still works that way. However, give me a break on this one. If Clay Aiken really wanted to do something for the LGBT community, he would have come out long ago. The message he sent (probably unknowingly and unwillingly) was stay in the closet til you know you’re set financially. That, in my opinion, is NOT a reason to honor someone.
“I would like to see those who have truly endured the hate, intolerance and bigotry of homophobia, yet managed to maintain their loving, caring spirit while raising a family honored…”
You just described Clay Aiken, and you are furthering the hateful, intolerant, bigoted and homophobic treatment of gays by publishing your ignorance on this matter.
Let me refrain from smacking you down completely! Clay Aiken denied his homosexuality for much longer than he’s been out. You want to call me ignorant? If you feel he is some sort of gay super hero for his BS antics, then perhaps we know who the ignorant one is. What has Clay Aiken done to help further the LGBT community? NOTHING! To me, that is being nothing more than self-serving, self-indulged and selfish.
A true hero to the LGBT community are those individuals such as Jamal Brown who risk a great deal to be out and help the LGBT community, not hide in a closet.
Well your first mistake was getting your information from that hellhole of a blog. The fact that you just happened on that site makes me suspect. How many legitimate blogs about mr. Aiken did you have to bypass to get there?
The second is not getting some background on Clay Aiken’s life and what he’s gone through being ridiculed by both gay & straight indivduals in his effort to live his life, make a living and protect his family.
The idea of intolerant gays just kills me.
“If Clay Aiken really wanted to do something for the LGBT community, he would have come out long ago. ”
Perhaps you should set up some kind of “coming out” council so you can be the judge of when a person should make that decision.
Judging by this blog gay rights still have a long way to go in this country. That’s sad.
“What has Clay Aiken done to help further the LGBT community? NOTHING! ”
Why should he? Were you born yesterday, or did you somehow manage to miss the hatred that the LGBT community has been spreading against this man for the last several years, and all the things they have done to damage his career? You seem to have no problem with that, and in fact, you are linking to the one of the most vile and hateful blogs right in your post.
You people don’t give a crap about his talent, or the charity work he does to help children with disabilities and in third world countries. You act like wanting to keep your private life private is the biggest crime against humanity, and that it overrides everything else the person does with his life.
I am NOT intolerant of Clay Aiken. I simply don’t believe he’s a candidate for an LGBT award based upon what he has “done” for the LGBT community. Don’t let your personal feelings for CA fog your judgment Mary. Please tell me his contributions! If you read my post, and take it for what it says, you’d note there are a great many others who have contributed a great deal more to the advancement of the LGBT community, who unfortunately, because they didn’t appear on television, go unnoticed. I stand firm. Clay Aiken is not a hero for the LGBT community and there are many others who deserve the recognition more than he does.
Rhetoric Linda, all you spew is rhetoric! You have not given any reasons, only your expressed feeling.
Why should he do anything for the LGBT community? Perhaps because he is part of that community. Whether Clay Aiken wants to admit it or not, when he was denying his homosexuality, he was doing a great deal more damage to the community, and its supporters than good.
Whether he wants it or not, when he chose a field of endeavor that placed him in the public eye, he become a role model. He chose his path in life, and should have been fully aware of the reactions that would occur from HIS actions.
Whether you or anyone else can overcome their bias is purely secondary at best. You’re right, I don’t care about his talent, I’m not talking about his talent. I’m talking about the responsibility he took on when he decided to live the life of a public figure and I am talking about people who deserve to be recognized with awards for their contributions for the LGBT community. As you said, he hasn’t made any, so WHY is he being honored?
” Whether Clay Aiken wants to admit it or not, when he was denying his homosexuality, he was doing a great deal more damage to the community, and its supporters than good. ”
Wrong. The LGBT community is doing this damage to themselves by endorsing this harassment and privacy violation, and by dragging people out of the closet before they are ready. You probably don’t even realize how many people this kind of behavior is turning away from giving you any support.
Rhetoric! Are you part of the LGBT community Linda? Have you ever been fired because of your sexual orientation? Have you ever been denied rights because of who you love? Have you ever had to struggle for equality and inclusion? Have you ever had been harassed for being who you are? Have you ever been physically abused for your sexuality?
Please, give me a break with this. If my behavior is turning people away, then those who are turning away were never there to begin with. You obviously have no clue about the struggles of LGBT citizens and you obviously have let your blurred vision of what Clay Aiken is overtake your reality.
This isn’t harassment or a privacy violation. This is telling the truth! CLAY AIKEN IS NOT WORTHY OF AN AWARD FOR HIS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY BECAUSE THERE HAVE BEEN NONE! READ THE POST! I’m not talking any other point. You obviously love Clay Aiken. Great for you. He lied about his sexuality. He is no hero!
Unless you are part of the LGBT community, or you support and understand, or at least try to understand what it is like to be a part of the LGBT community, you should not even be talking.
“Perhaps because he is part of that community. Whether Clay Aiken wants to admit it or not, when he was denying his homosexuality, he was doing a great deal more damage to the community, and its supporters than good. ”
Jim, there are plenty of celebrities with a much higher profile than Clay Aiken who are still lying about their sexuality but for some reason Clay continues to be chastised about it even now that he has come out. The past is the past. He can’t change it. Perhaps he would do things differently if he could do them over again.
As with all awards, there is ALWAYS someone more deserving. Most of the time the true unsung heroes go unrecognized. Hopefully, Clay will prove himself worthy of that award by contributing to the GLBT community as he lives his life openly in the future.
Kirkwood – You are correct. There are plenty of celebrities that are still in the closet. If one of them came out today, I would question their receipt of any award as well.
You are also correct by saying many real heroes go unrecognized.
I genuinely hope Clay will prove himself more worthy of such an award in the future. As for now, I don’t think he has earned it.
Thank you for your comment.
James: I remember Lance Bass, along with then BF Reichen, was given the HRC Visibility Award a month after he came out back in 2006. There was a bit of similar controversy that he hadn’t done enough to deserve it. I suspect the need to give these awards to a ‘name’ which translates into ticket $ale$ is the driving force behind these events.
As for Clay, I will be keeping my eye on him in the future to see how he uses his celebrity to positively contribute to the GLBT community. Hopefully he will be a proud example to his son.
“Unless you are part of the LGBT community, or you support and understand, or at least try to understand what it is like to be a part of the LGBT community, you should not even be talking.”
Jim, it seems your membership in the LGBT community is superceding your membership in the human race. As I understand it coming out is a difficult process. Clay Aiken is a Southern Baptist raised in a family of very strong beliefs. This is why I don’t understand how you can be preaching about “the struggles of LGBT citizens” on one hand and chastising Clay for making his decision to come out on his time schedule on the other. Unless you know what he’s been through you’re not qualified judge him.
Mary, religion is a choice…and also a very weak excuse. I also have it under good authority that Clay Aiken was “out” to select individuals prior to his fame. Either way, the point of my entire post is that GLAAD is recognizing someone as a contributor to the LGBT community who has yet to contribute. If you would read the last paragraph of my post which reads: “I want to make this perfectly clear, I do not have a beef with Clay Aiken, but I do however think there are people much more deserving of being honored. We all come out in our own time, and it’s unfortunate the world still works that way.” You would see I’m not guilty of chastising anyone, but rather criticizing GLAAD for giving recognition where it is not due. I honestly believe there are many more deserving people and I do think it sends a very poor message. I wish we could give awards to the tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of kids who have come out to their parents over the years only to find themselves homeless. I wish we could honor all of those who have been fired, beaten, raped, jailed, denied housing, denied adoption, denied seeing their partner in the hospital and even murdered for being brave enough to come out. Mary, unless you’ve been through what the LGBT community has been through, you’re not qualified to judge me for standing firm on the belief that “coming out at your convenience” is not something to be applauded or awarded.
We want more celebrities to come out and be counted, but when they do we don’t welcome them, instead we chastise them for not coming out faster.
We want young gays to come out and be role models but when they do we say they don’t deserve to be acknowledged because they haven’t accomplished enough for the community yet.
We want gays that we can be proud of, that are visible ambassadors of our community in the daily press that aren’t the stereotypical flaming queens, Clay Aiken is just such a man. He is talented, intelligent, articulate and is contributing by just being a visible and accomplished role model for other young gay men.
We want gay celebrities to show straight society who we are, but when Clay Aiken came out as a proud gay father with his son on the cover of People, and broke new ground, we accuse him of doing it too late or for financial gain when in fact he lost opportunities and a significant portion of his fans to do it.
The gay community is his community and the fact that he didn’t come out on your time line doesn’t give you the right to dismiss his struggle or his courage. We need to create a welcoming and supportive community instead of the usual backlash that awaits each one of these brave souls. He is young, out & proud and he is jumping in with both feet now that he is ready. Welcome him, be proud of him.
“Mary, religion is a choice…and also a very weak excuse.”
Nonsense! He has a large extended family that are also affected by his decision to come out. His mother, grandmother, and his straight Marine brother are all affected by his decision to come out. The church members can shun his loved ones, his brother can be tormented by his fellow soldiers and his mother can lose customers and friends over it, You are seeing things through militant tunnel vision instead of through compassion and understanding.
“instead of some guy, who after he obtained his financial goal and decided coming out was no longer a “threat” to his public career ”
Jim, I guess this is what I’m having a problem with. Whether you want to admit it or not you do have a beef with Clay Aiken, and it has nothing to do with being honored by this organization.
Young gays who make the decision to come out should be met with compassion and respect for their journey. Your attitude dosen’t reflect this at all.
First, Clay is NOT a young gay, he is an adult, a grown man. Secondly, compassion is fine. I have no problem with him receiving compassion, it’s his receiving awards and being honored as some sort of hero for the LGBT community without making any contributions I find absolutely repulsive.
This is no different to me than giving George W. Bush a humanitarian award. I would find that equally as repulsive.
@ Stanley – You said: “His mother, grandmother, and his straight Marine brother are all affected by his decision to come out. The church members can shun his loved ones, his brother can be tormented by his fellow soldiers and his mother can lose customers and friends over it, You are seeing things through militant tunnel vision instead of through compassion and understanding.”
Since when was coming out about anyone other than the person coming out? This is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard in my life. His mother may loose customers??? His Marine brother may be tormented??? Church members may shun his loved ones??? WHAT???? Are you for real with this? Stanley, you may have some deep seeded affections for Clay Aiken, I’m not sure, but one thing I do know about coming out, when you do it, if anyone shuns you, they were NOT someone that should have been included into your life in the first place. Move on and surround yourself with people who do support and understand.
Stanley, I don’t mean to offend you, but I’m sure my “lack of compassion” probably will, but this is the biggest bunch of CRAP and the LAMEST excuse for not coming out I’ve ever heard. THIS IS EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!!!! Grown men and women to “afraid” of being shunned or rejected by bigots and haters to come out. This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about when I say he does NOT deserve any awards or special recognition. I think it is GREAT that Clay Aiken came out…but until he makes a contribution to the LGBT community, then I do not see the need for special recognition. Don’t you think this is a slap in the face to the tens of thousands of 16 year-old kids who came out to his/her parents, who in turn shoved them out into the street?
What other people think of you is none of your business. If people want to speak poorly of you, they will! It’s up to you to live your life so that no one else will believe what others say about you. You can’t control other people, and if you are worried about what someone else may say or think, you’re letting that person control you. Being coward because you’re afraid of rejection is not a commendable trait.
James –
I think that this FEC award is publicist driven and recommended by Rosie O’Donnell, who is a strong supporter of Clay’s (and who probably feels guilty for having outed him a couple of years ago in that whole incident with Kelly Ripa). That would make sense, given that Clay and Rosie share a publicist and Rosie is such a strong advocate of gays and lesbians being able to have/adopt children. I also suspect that Tyra may have been involved with having Clay present her with the GLAAD award (Clay’s publicist used to be Tyra’s and Clay is reported to be friendly with Tyra), since it is highly unlikely that Clay would have been chosen to present this award otherwise. It’s all an effort to portray Clay in a favorable way in the media and to the LGBT community, but I think that his past actions are thwarting that effort. After damaging and insulting the LGBT community for years with his attitude and cowardice, Clay has a long way to go to prove that he’s going to be a genuine supporter of the LGBT community, and not just use them for publicity and image enhancement.
@ AJ
Very good point! I believe you have nailed this one down! Thanks for your comment!
“Clay has a long way to go to prove that he’s going to be a genuine supporter of the LGBT community, ”
How about people give him half a chance? I agree that the award is premature but if he wants to embrace the LGBT community, he has to start somewhere. Attending the GLAAD awards was a big first step.
I still say he takes more crap even now that he finally did come out than more successful celebrities who have been in the closet their entire careers.
Kirkwood –
Would Clay have attended the GLAAD awards if he hadn’t been a presenter and received publicity for that appearance? I doubt it. The kind of damage that Clay has done has been in the manner of his denials and in actions, like performing at the Central Christian Church in Wichita, KS, essentially supporting an organization that actively works to suppress gay rights. He has not simply kept a low profile on his sexuality and got a big payday for his coming out/new baby cover in People. I have yet to see what I would consider him supporting the LGBT community in a genuine way, although I’m willing to give him that chance. People will be watching. Regardless, James’ points with respect to this award from the FEC being undeserved (at this time) are more than valid and do not merit the kind of attacks that they have received.
“Since when was coming out about anyone other than the person coming out? This is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard in my life.”
This is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of in my life. Are you really saying closeted gays don’t take their families and friends into consideration when making their decision to come out?
Either you are truly ignorant, or you’re reaching, Jim.
Gay Agenda? Very aptly named. I heard that people like you existed, but I never had the misfortune of actually winessing it in action.
I may not be gay, but I recognize prejudice when I see it.
“instead of some guy, who after he obtained his financial goal and decided coming out was no longer a “threat” to his public career ”
And please tell me where you got this info instead of playing dodgeball with me.
” I have yet to see what I would consider him supporting the LGBT community in a genuine way, although I’m willing to give him that chance. People will be watching. Regardless, James’ points with respect to this award from the FEC being undeserved (at this time) are more than valid and do not merit the kind of attacks that they have received.”
AJ-
We are on the exact same page. If he begins to take steps to prove his committment to the positive advancement of LGBT causes beyond mere photo ops, I will give him kudos. If not, then I will be the first to call him on it as I would any celebrity in Clay’s situation. As you are, I am at least willing to give him a reasonable chance before passing final judgement on the man.
I stand behind my earlier comment that the award is premature but there have been many instances where a celebrity received an award simply because they are a celebrity while more deserving people go unrecognized. This happens all the time and is not unique to Clay Aiken.
Mary, being that you are not gay, I truly don’t expect you to understand. You can call me ignorant, call me any name that makes you feel better. When you come out as gay, your family is a consideration, but not in the manor of which you speak. Your family is not the one coming out, you are. Being that you know NOTHING about coming out, as you are NOT an LGBT citizen, you really should use more caution when throwing stones and calling people ignorant, because your statements are a reflection of that very word, and not against me.
James-
Great post. As the owner of Clay Aiken 411, I could not agree with you more. I have known personally known Clay Aiken for over 3 years and I don’t know of anyone less deserving of any recognition.
James-
Just so you are aware, Claymates will pose under male names in an attempt to lend some legitimacy to their posts. Having dealt with them for over 3 years, I can easily spot their post. You can bet that 99% of the “male” posts who are defending Clay are retired and middled aged straight women.
If you don’t think Clay Aiken is deserving – he would more than likely be the first to agree with you. You probably already know that he is one of the most self deprecating people around. He has grown up being the butt of jokes and made fun of – so he started putting himself down first before others had a chance to. There are hate blogs devoted 24/7 to putting him down. He knows about them – and just ignores them. He has been criticized and the butt of late nite TV since he became known and I think he use to be embarrassed by not only the jokes, but the attention. All he wanted to do was entertain, and I have my doubts that he wanted to be anyone’s hero. Yes – he does a lot of for others – but not for recognition but just because he really does care.
How many guys that come out as gay knowing that they lost hundreds of fans in the process would turn around and ask those that remained loyal to not criticize those that turned on him. He said that he had a long time to come to terms with who his is, so those fans that turned on him needed a lot more time to come to terms. He allowed them to use his fan site to call him names, to belittle and criticize him, to tell him that he can’t be a Christian and will surely go to Hell! He would read their comments that were mean and nasty and then after so many days of this – cut it off and wrote a blog to his fans telling them that he loved them and didn’t want to lose them, but he couldn’t apologize for who he is and if some couldn’t deal with that – then he understands if they decide to move on. Some of those on the 411 blog are some of those former fans who rather than walk away, would rather post with others who seem to enjoy talking about Clay Aiken, putting him down and to influence others who might still be loyal fans of his.
If you sincerely believe that Clay Aiken isn’t worthy – then maybe he will get the word and will withdraw. Would an award of any type have meaning if the recipient was made to feel unworthy?
I have not read the entire article regarding Clay Aiken being honored. I have searched the internet and found related articles on this award he will be receiving. Nowhere did I read that he was called a hero.
There is a world of difference in someone being honored and someone being a hero. Clay Aiken is not a hero, so he shouldn’t be referred to as one, but he was when James Hipps initially posted on this topic here. It’s not fair to Clay that he be called a hero by someone commenting on him being honored. What gets me upset is that the hero is thrown down as less desrviong than others. He was never elevated to that position, so it’s simply unfair knock him down.
As for the timing of his coming out, perhaps it was for financial gain to keep it hidden. However, unless we are in his shoes, we cannot conclude this. Coming out for each person has so many ramifiations and is therefoe not readily done. It can be a lengthy process and take years.
It is obvious there are a great many “Claymates” in the world, who have put this person up on a pedestal, and get aggravated with anyone who says anything other than something that keeps him elevated.
I am a realist. There are over one million homeless children in the U.S. alone, many of which are LGBT teens. There are over one million HIV + people in the U.S. alone. In 33 states, you can still be fired for being gay. 48 states still do not have marriage equality. These issues are only a few of many that affect the life of every LGBT citizen.
Whether any of you want to acknowledge it or not, (and thank you to those who have) coming out is an important part of advancement for the LGBT community. Visibility, dialogue and activism are key to securing our equality and inclusion.
I feel strongly when a celebrity does not come out, they are doing a great deal of damage…period. Not only is it a disservice to them, but to the entire LGBT community. In this day and age, if you are an adult, there is no excuse for not coming out and anyone that doesn’t, especially when the reason in a vested interest in financial gain, is purely selfish.
People, especially those who are in the public eye, that don’t come out, are a big part of the problem. Sure some people will reject you if you’re gay, but some people also reject others for color of skin, ethnicity, gender, and the list goes on. We learn to adapt and overcome, we also find support in people we never knew existed.
I find it laughable at best so many have attacked me, for stating my opinion that Clay Aiken is not deserving of an award. For all of you who obviously love Clay Aiken, good for you. I’m sure he appreciates your admiration and money. I, like others who have posted comments here, will be watching to see if he becomes a contributor to the LGBT community. When and if that day comes, I’ll be very happy I get to post about someone who has made a positive contribution to the LGBT community.
You still don’t get it do you? Its wrong of you or anyone else to kick someone in the head when they come out. No excuses. Its just wrong. After listening to your show tonight I hope you’ve learned a little compassion from Pat Cheney. Coming out is always complicated, celebrity or not.
NO, you’re right Stanley, I don’t get it. I don’t get why someone who was “out” to only those who knew him, but lied about his sexuality in public when he could have been a role model, is being honored for their contributions to the LGBT community when they haven’t made any.
This post was NOT about coming out, it was about CONTRIBUTIONS!!!!
All of you who want to hate on me obviously just LOVE Clay Aiken, and that’s great. If you think that my stating someone who has not made any contributions to the LGBT community is not deserving of honors and awards, is “kicking someone in the head”, then your view is skewed, and your admiration for someone you obviously idolize has blurred your vision.
CLAY AIKEN HAS NOT MADE CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY THAT WARRANT PRAISE, HONORS OR AWARDS!
Perhaps someday he will, but until then, it’s all about the money…and that sucks for those who are working everyday, selflessly to contribute something positive and advance equality and human rights.