Palin Grants Alaska Their Independence

In the most patriotic gesture ever enacted on Independence Day weekend, Governor Sarah Palin announces that she will not seek another term as Governor of Alaska, thereby granting Alaskans their Independence from her. Further, she is stepping down immediately as the Governor of Alaska. Well, she’s stepping down in a few weeks but it may as well be tomorrow.

Irony was not lost on Palin’s almost incoherent, Sanford-esque press conference. And this was a prepared statement. On the banks of the lake in Wasilla where the Palins live, there were two ducks frolicking n the water behind her. (Go ahead, check the video tape, I kid you not). It almost appeared as if they were fighting, or playing, it was hard to tell, but after a little while the two ducks gave up and just sat there. Lame ducks? You be the judge.

Alaskans were seen parading in the streets with flags, banners, and streamers, celebrating their independence from the right-wing, uneducated, Jesus-freak, slutty-librarian governor. Ironically, since Governor Palin doesn’t read newspapers, she’ll never see it in black and white in the local paper, or the New York Times, for that matter. Hopefully, one of her children will cut out the article for her, and scotch tape it to the fridge. Sarah is very good at learning from pictures. It’s all those words that confuse her.

Read the rest at: No Agenda!