GayAgenda Launches BlogTalkRadio Show

That’s right, every Sunday night at 6:00 p.m. EST, you can listen to the GayAgenda host, James Howard talk about news, issues and events that affect the GLBT community. Care to share your opinion? Make sure you call in and air your voice live. The number is (646) 929-0506. Again, that’s every Sunday night at 6:30 p.m. EST at blogtalkradio.com. You can also check out the last program here!

Michael Moniz is “Living Life Out Loud”

How many times have you heard about coaching? When I met Michael Moniz, I found a believer, a guy full of life, giving advice to others on his blog, his column on PlanetOut and workshops. His passion for life makes a difference and as he says “I can’t change the world but I know I can make a difference in the lives of the people I work with.” Michael is based in Orlando, Florida were he began a career working in the training and development field, helping others with professional image, self leadership, communication skills, and setting and achieving personal and professional goals. He is an openly gay man and helps with many charity events which involve the gay and lesbian community, breast cancer awareness and HIV/AIDS education. He is professionally certified coach with the ICF. His clients love his energetic and enthusiastic personality and the process is fun and full of laughter as “life should be.” I agree with him when he says we need to learn to listen and empower and make a change if life is getting bad. Speaking with Michael is like taking a trip to celebrate life where every moment is a moment to discover.

Antonio Capurro: Good Morning Mike, I have been reading “Living Life Out Loud” for a while before I asked you to do this interview and I follow much of your advice as a coach. Thank you for the positive influence.

Michael Moniz: Well I am very excited to hear that and that it makes a difference with you.

Antonio Capurro: Thanks Mike. I discovered how important it is to “Live Life Out Loud” and I hope oter people can make changes and improvements in their life as well.

Michel Moniz: Some many times we live ourselves by other’s rules, expectations, or guidelines. We have to learn to live our lives for ourselves. Stop dreaming it and just be it.

Antonio Capurro: Why do you think so many people live by other’s rules, expectations or guidelines, and do you think this reflected in politics too?

Michael Moniz: Personally, I think we spend too much comparing ourselves to others. We look for role models but a lot of time there are not people who are exactly like us. So we settle for a group or person who is kind of like us and we get frustrated because we can’t fit the mold. It goes back to the famous saying, “Life is not about finding yourself; life is about creating you.”

Antonio Capurro: I see people who have become frustrated because they don’t fit the typical mold. I think that happens because we get an education which teaches us to adjust to be like others. So how a person can create self?

Michael: First step is finding out what is important to you. What are your values? What do you want out of life? What do you want your life to be? You have to self reflected and dream. Then you move those dreams into a vision and set goals so you can achieve. You hold yourself accountable and keep your vision in mind so not to lose sight of where you are headed. Before you know it, your dreams are reality. You are living your life out loud.

Antonio Capurro: I admire your energy and enthusiasm and how full of life are you. Have you always kept a smile even in the most difficult times?

Michael Moniz: I have always found a sense of humor about life just keeps you going. One of my values is happiness and I am truly always working to be happier.

Naturally, I always see the glass half full and life full of opportunities. Besides, I love to smile and laugh! It makes life more interesting to me! Not that I have not been through tough times

Antonio Capurro: That’s great! Is something we should all try do, that is always keep a smile and pursue happiness as a value? Also, do you think if a nation would take on a political coach it would have better and emotionally stronger population?

Michael Moniz: Sure, I believe in coaching and now the results it can bring but coaching is all about commitment. The client who is being coached he or she needs to commit and wanting to change because, in the end, it is all up to the client to put the work into place and act on it. So unless someone sees the benefit of coaching and truly wants to grow, it won’t work.

Antonio Capurro: You work with gay community helping others that want to be helped. Do you find most of the people you work with suffer from low self esteem? What do you think about gay youth? Do we need to work more with gay youth because of the rate of depression and suicides? As you k now, many times gay youth are in poor environments with families or friends who do not support their sexual orientation?

Michael Moniz: I tend to work with mostly adults. There are tons of great groups that do work with teens and I volunteer with a few groups but my practice is mostly adults. Self esteem, self worth, and self image are huge parts of coaching in my practice.

Antonio Capurro: What you would recommend to parents or families who find out they have a gay son?

Michael Moniz: I would recommend they not make it about them but be supportive with their son. Coming out is about sharing something about yourself with your family. You are not asking for acceptance but sharing who you are. It is all about support and love. It is not easy to come to terms with your sexuality.

Antonio Capurro: Do you have any advice for someone who is not out of the closet yet?

Michael Moniz: Coming out is a personal choice. It is a process which you have to come to terms with first. I would tell anyone who is in the closet that you should not handle this alone. They are tons of people out here who will be able to support you through the process if you chose to come out or not. Some many people stay in the closet out of fear because they feel so alone. They are not alone.

Antonio Capurro: They are not alone, that’s right!

Michael Moniz: It is so true!

Antonio Capurro: You say is a personal choice but do you agree with me that their lives would be complete coming out?

Michael Moniz: Yes, I think you should be who you are and not be afraid to come out. It may not be easy and I know this, but coming out allows you to be who you are and you deserve that.

Antonio Capurro: How was your coming out process? Did your family support you?

Michael Moniz: My coming out story is boring. I told my mom I had something bad to tell her. She asked, “What?” I said I was gay. She looked at me and said, “And what is the bad news?” I said that is it. She said that is not bad that is who I am and she loves me no matter what. She then screamed to my dad that I was gay in the living room and he said “good for you”. My family is very supportive and very loving. I am very blessed with them.

Antonio Capurro: Lucky you!! I see so many people desperately seeking to find happiness throuhg the man or the women of their lives. Do you think it’s best to find someone with similar goals in life?

Michael Moniz: You want to find someone that makes you smile, laugh and is your best friend. That is who you are looking for. It is not about finding someone to complete you because no one will do that. You have to be complete on your own. They are the icing on the cake that makes things better. They should make life better when you are around them.

Antonio Capurro: Is there a difference between coaching gay and straight people?

Michael Moniz: Nope. I just come from the perspective from a gay man so I share in the lifestyle. Doesn’t mean you can’t be coached by someone who is gay. I also have straight Female clients who are referred to me from their gay male friends. I still work with them.

Antonio Capurro: So straight people feel completely confident with you as well?

Michael Moniz: Yes. I am me and I bring that to coaching. I want my clients to feel safe, open to share and comfortable. I am excited about their lives and helping them achieve results. I am here to support them and anyone can relate to that.

Antonio Capurro: What is your perspective of being a gay man?

Michael Moniz: As a gay man, I know how it shard to find your gender role, I know about coming out, I know about being picked on in school and I know what it is like to be told in the States you can not marry. I relate.

Antonio Capurro: Gay marriage is a big issue in the states right now. Would you like to get married one day?

Michael Moniz: Yes I would like to get married one day. I have always wanted a wedding and the opportunity to celebrate my love. It would also be nice to know that my partner would be treated with respect as any other married spouse with all the rights.

Antonio Capurro: I have read in the news that Sarah Palin was Mayor of Wasilla when she ordered the libriarian to retire the book “Father I am Gay” from schools, how would you coach her?

Michael Moniz: I would coach her to love herself for who she is. That is where it all starts. First you love yourself and then you can love others for who they are.

Antonio Capurro: Being tolerant and trying everything in the same way?

Michael Moniz: Tolerance is an art form. We forget to be free; we have to let others be free as well. We love to judge others to make ourselves feel better. But if we judge others, we give them the right to judge us.

Antonio Capurro: Have you ever coached someone who had to deal with homophobia and was insulted and mistreated?

Michal Moniz: YES! It is so sad but it is out there. Not always huge ways but the little ways can be enough to drive you mad. Most of clients deal with it in some ways but we find ways to support ourselves and keep our smiles bright. It is not easy because it is so personal and hard to hear but right now it is a part of reality we have to cope with. We just work out ways to make it work. The most important part is not to tolerate it. We deserve more.

Antonio Capurro: Because everybody deserves more?

Michael Moniz: Exactly. A lot of times we don’t feel that but it is true. We deserve more.

Antonio Capurro: if we deserve more why do so many couples stay together even when they know their relationship is not good for each other? Is it because people are afraid to be alone?

Michael Moniz: That is an issue in all relationships. Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, is afraid to be alone. The world is made for couples and if you are not one you can feel bad. Being scared to be alone is a personal issue. Again, it falls back on at being complete. As a person, we have to supply ourselves with everything we need. Friends, family and partners are the extra in our life. It’s is the icing on the cake. If the cake is not build right or complete, no matter how much icing you put on it, it still isn’t good. When the cake is complete, it fine all alone but with icing it just gets better. Add some sprinkles and you are all set.

Antonio Capurro: So would you say the only way to build a solid life is to work ion maintaining a powerful sense of self esteem and coach ourselves?

Michael Moniz: Exactly! It is about our knowing what we value in life, what our goals are, and what we want life to be life for us. It is about building ourselves up in all areas of our lives. It is all about us taking care of ourselves. We have to make the commitment to treat ourselves right. No one else is ever going to do it for us.

Antonio Capurro: Then maybe we can be super men, but isn’t it good to be sensitive sometimes?

Michael Moniz: Who says that being super doesn’t include being sensitive. You have to create your own super and be the person you want to be. It is all up to you. Break the rules and live the life you want. If I want to be sensitive and it works for me and makes me happy. Then I can be sensitive! But that is easy coming from the guy who thinks from his heart more than his head more from his heart than his head.

Antonio Capurro: I heard a friend saying the quote “First I am, Second I am, Third I am.” Do you think it’s OK to be selfish at times?

Michael Moniz: You can not help others until you help yourself. This is so true. There is a difference in being self centered and selfish. You need to be selfish, you are responsible for you. You need to take care of yourself and do what is right for you. Doing this will allow you to be able to be a better friend, partner, brother, etc.

It doesn’t mean pushing people aside. It means letting the right people in.

Antonio Capurro: A relationship often works when both partners look at the same horizon, but what is your experience as to what happens when one feels they are missing something, like communication, sharing, trusting or better sex? I read on a website about a guy who says he is a very sexual person but he doesn’t have sex as he wants with his LTR partner and he is looking online to fill his fantasies.

Michael Moniz: Relationships are all build on trust, communication, love and friendship. I really believe the couple needs to talk about their relationship and their expectations. As long as both of them agree and are with how the relationship works, then it is a healthy relationship if both are truly happy and fulfilled. It is all about communication and trust. It is important that both people are able to talk and share their needs and wants.

Antonio Capurro: When you mention love are you including sex? Does you place importance on sex in a relationship and why do you think Americans often are so hesitant to talk about sex?

Michael Moniz: Good question. I think sex is part of relationship. I think sometimes we put too much stress on sex. It has to be a balance. Trust, communication, friendship are just as if not more important. Sex is part of the relationship and couples need to talk about it and be open to their partner’s needs.

I do not know why the American culture is still so quiet about sexuality. It is out there and we need to be able to talk about it. To me, sex needs to be fun. If it is not fun, why do it?

Antonio Capurro: Do people you coach find more fun in their sex life?

Michael Moniz: People I coach get fun all over their lives! Fun is an important trait in all areas of our lives. Life is meant to be fun. Life SHOULD be fun

Antonio Capurro: I agree we should find fun, even in the simple things of life.

Michael Moniz: Exactly. Why should life be boring? I make waiting in line fun. We are afraid as adults to have fun but that is not the case. Everyone needs fun in their lives. A lot of my clients come to be just for that. They see their lives as boring and they want to make it fun.

Antonio Capurro: So, sex needs to be fun. What would you suggest people to make to improve their sex life?

Michael Moniz: Stop judging. Really be open to talking about sex and have fun with it. Sex is not like the movies. It is real. So make it real and talk to your partner about what they like, what are their fantasies and what are each other limitations. It never hurts to explore, if you don’t like it, don’t do it again. I think the main thing here is communication. Get to know what you like and want. Do the same for your partner. Allow each other to share and go from there. Sometimes people think making sex fun is to go to the extreme. Not the case. It can be just simple fun. It is up to you and your partner to decide.

Antonio Capurro: We talked about how American society is repressive when it comes to talking about sex, but there are a lot of gay and straight porn sites and now a few TV programs and sexual gay advice sites too. What’s your take on that?

Michael Moniz: Yes, it is coming around as it should. There is nothing wrong with talking about sex. It opens up the communication. That is what is most important. Is it the cure, no but it is a step towards the conversation. A step forward is always a good thing.

Antonio Capurro: Does porn helps in a healthy way?

Michael Moniz: I can not decide that. That is up to the individual to decide for themselves.

Antonio Capurro: So, what is Michael’s secret to have a good healthy life?

Michael Moniz: My secret is this: Love your life, love yourself and have a good time a long the way. This is your time is all yours, make it count and make yourself proud. That is all that matters.

Antonio Capurro: And things will get better, true?

Michael Moniz: Life always keeps getting better if you let it

Antonio Capurro: You are a busy man, always writing and helping others. When do you have time for you and your partner, and how do you guys spend your time? I am asking this question because some couples like to make everything together and don’t allow much space for each other.

Michael Moniz: LOL this is so true. My partner and I take time for each other. We make sure that we make time because it is important. We are both very busy but never too busy for each other. We are secure in our relationship so we understand we have our space as well. He is very supportive of all that I do and I am very lucky to have him in my life.

Antonio Capurro: I know it takes a time to find Mr. Right in gay life. Can you call your partner the man of your dreams? I ask because many people build a model, or a stereotype and are always searching for thier dream.

Michael Moniz: It is so true. A lot of people set up to find the perfect man. He is not out there. I do a seminar all about helping gay men find the perfect guy and seeing there is no perfect man. It is hard to let go this fake image and realize what you really want out of life.

Antonio Capurro: Have you ever coached your partner?

Michael Moniz: No, I just boss him around. I am joking! Yes I have worked with him on a few areas, but only if he asks me though. I do not just do it. If he asks, I will be willing to support him through it.

Antonio Capurro: And what do you think he say if I asked him about Mike’s coaching?

Michael Moniz: With no doubt he will say it was great and he appreciated the support. Did he get results from coaching? YES. Is he also bias to me, NO DOUBT.

Antonio Capurro: You talk about keeping a “life list”, and I am sure you have a long list, but what are the top three items on your list?

Michael Moniz: There is a lot and it is always growing. Right now I will say my top three are: Publishing a book, swimming with Belgua Whales and learning to Juggle

Antonio Capurro: How do you think it’s best to be successful in the game of the life?

Michael Moniz: Play by your own rules, play nice, be happy and have a hella good time!

Antonio Capurro: You talked about positive reinforcement, living the present, celebrate results, develop communications skills, self leadership, setting and achieving and to have personal and professional goals. Does everybody need a coach life to start a new change in their lives?

Michael Moniz: I think it is easier to do it with a coach. Being coached doesn’t mean you have a coach forever. You may just work with them for 3 months to a year. Then you are in a better place to self coach. I really share a lot of the tips and tools through my articles, blog, teleseminars, etc. You should be able to do it. I think this is very important to remember. You can read TONS of self help books but finally you have to put the book done and actually live it. That is the hard part. That is why people like a having a coach. Someone to support them and hold themselves accountable to the actions they want in life.

Antonio Capurro: I’vd learned a lot by doing this interview and have enjoyed it greatly. One final question however, is there anything you would like to say to the readers of gay agenda.com?

Michael Moniz: Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. I would tell the readers: Keep living your life out loud!

Antonio Capurro: I am sure they will follow the advice and I think I will too!

Michael Moniz: GOOD!

To learn more about Michel Moniz and his coaching visit: http://michael-moniz.com/

Editor’s Opinion: Right Wing News = KKK

OK, depending upon how much you check out the internet, you may, or may not have come across a site that calls itself the RightWingNews.com.

I’m sure you can gather by the name, it is a site which has an extremely one-sided opinion…yes, opinion.  There is NOTHING on this site that resembles news.

If you take a look at the pic of the writer, guess what, he’s white, he’s overweight,  and well, to be honest, looks pretty simple.  He is the same picture I have in my mind of a member of the KKK.

Now, I have no problem with white, overweight people as a general rule, but why is it when you hear someone talk about the evils of homosexuality, or the evils of Obama, or anything that isn’t white, conservative and “Christian” (I use that term loosely here) they are typically white and overweight?

Could it just be these people don’t feel good about themselves, so they do everything in their diminishing power to try to attack and beat down anyone or anything that is outside of the realm of their very tiny reality?  Or could it just be they are trying to emulate Rush Limbaugh and make a name for their self, despite the total lack of higher education?

As an editor, and a bit of a news junkie, I will occasionally look at what this choad has to bark about and it never ceases to amaze me just how narrow minded and blatantly stupid people really are.

There has been more than several occasions I have wanted to blast this guy for spewing false rhetoric, but have never wanted to waste my time, but here it is.  This Rush Limbaugh, Janet Porter wannabe needs to go away, and I mean this in the literal sense.

Every time I hear someone like this fool speak, it makes me realize, 1) How lucky I am to have an open mind, an education, and love of diversity (with the exception of loving the diversity of hate from the likes of this character). 2) Why there is so much hate in the world.  And 3) How many people in this world have never had to deal with oppression, discrimination or really anything that would prevent them from succeeding in life.

I would be willing to bet this guy has never done without.  I would also be willing to bet he has never dealt with any type of discrimination, hate or oppression based upon his looks, who he loves, what he likes to do, or anything for that matter.

That is why I believe he should go away.  I would love to see someone like this guy stripped away from everything he has, placed in a country where electricity is not an option and where white is not the majority color of skin.  I wonder how he would survive, of if he would survive at all? I would pay a million dollars if I had it to see this hate-filled bigot have to attempt to survive outside of his lily-white world where he is disrespected for being his color, his gender, his weight or simply being his true self.

I realize this may sound full of hate, but really it’s not.  I just want to see justice.  I would love to see people like this deal with half of what those of us in the GLBT community have had to deal with in our lives.  I feel certain if you force this guy out into a world unlike the one he’s in, his eyes would open, along with his heart and mind.

I am a gay man.  I have been fired for being a gay man.  I have been beaten for being a gay man.  I have been discriminated against for being a gay man.  Now, I’ve never said that I was black, but…its people like this who make me wish I could say I wasn’t white!

In the meantime, I’ll keep believing in karma. As we all know, what comes around goes around.

Demons, Ghouls and Gay Men with HIV

As Halloween swirls around us, I find myself pondering some of the discussions and debate about researching social sexual networks of gay men and attempts to shape and separate risk networks.

It is a fact that there are more gay men living with HIV within particular sub-sections of the gay community, although it is worth remembering there are gay men with HIV living in almost every part of the community.

As treatment for HIV has improved, the demographic of gay men living with HIV has changed and now a large proportion of those living with HIV are in their late thirties and forties. Similarly HIV is more common in some populations of gay men of color and gay men from certain parts of the world.

But does this mean that we should highlight these groups and dissuade men who are currently HIV negative from having sex with them? Creating two separate social sexual networks would retain sexual activity within each circuit but make crossing over a social taboo, like two separate train tracks where the passengers can wave at each other from the carriages but never mingle.

Read the rest at lifelube.blogspot.com.

9 in 10 dot Org - Because the Majority Rules

Here are some of our short comedies about gay marriage and gay issues. The two on the right were bundled as a point/counterpoint and were the co–winners of the Boston Comedy and Movie Festival in August 2008. They’ve received over 50,000 views on the web since including a posting on Margaret Cho’s blog.

Check it out by clicking here.  Also, watch the GREAT award winning video below!

Next Page »