A Routine Life Shows Gains Gays Have Made

I was born on the day of the Stonewall riots – June 27, 1969 – so my life is an individual history of the 40-year-old modern gay-rights movement. What makes my story particularly representative is just how conventional my life has become.

I grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania. My parents were liberal college professors, but I was aware in high school – in the 1980s, when there was no treatment for AIDS and hatred for gays reached a fever pitch – that they wanted both of their boys to be heterosexual. Logically, it seemed to be the only path to a happy, successful life. I knew I was gay, but said nothing.

I applied only to urban universities, seeing the city as a place to find other people like myself. When I decided toward the end of college that it was time to “come out,” it seemed like a big deal – as any grand declaration would be. Back then, you couldn’t just live your life. You had to say, “I’m gay!” and hope to be accepted, or learn to live with the rejection.

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