Joe Kiling: The Sugar of Mr. Bear Germany 2007

Not only women want to be queens like Miss American or Miss Universe!  Men also want a piece of the pie. I know you are thinking about Mr. Gay, but there is also a huge and very popular gay community of hairy, sweet and tender men called bears, and since some time ago, Germany has elected many contestants as Mr. Bear Germany.

2007 was the year of Joe Kiling. Joe is a 37 year-old Luxembourg guy, who works as an autopsies’ assistant and likes history…especially the Tudor era.  His favorite TV shows include Six Feet Under (perhaps because of his job) and Sex in the City. His favorite movies are: Dead Poets’ Society, The Outsiders, The Color Purple and Team America.

Gentlemen…and ladies, I would like to introduce to you this sexy, charmed and handsome bear called Joe Kiling.  He is ready to show us a sugar bear’s world. Yummy!!!

You won the title of “Mr. Bear Germany” in 2007.  How did you feel when you heard your name called?

I was very surprised hearing my name as I never thought of having a chance of winning the contest. I just had broken up with my ex partner and I found out that there would be a bear weekend in cologne so I bought tickets. When they send me the tickets I saw in the program that they were looking still for candidates so I thought out of fun to take part in it. I won the contest among ten other candidates and I had 16 votes more than the second.

Did you participate in a European competition?

No, I could have taken part in the international competition but I refused because after the year I was so tired and needed a rest. As a Mr. Bear u still has to work in the week and every weekend was another party to go to, which was fun but u never had a quiet moment.

Were you given duties to perform as “Mr. Bear Germany”?

Well there were no written duties to fulfill but my own task to me which I wanted to fill was to bring the gay scene closer together so I showed up on leather and rubber events as well to show the world or here in the case Germany that we all can party together and that we do not have to be only under bears. In Luxemburg there a few gay bars which is mostly visited by the young gays a. there is not specific bear leather or rubber scene it is rather normal in Germany u have quite a large gay scene especially in the bigger cities like Cologne and Hamburg where u can find lots for different fetishes.

Do you think the gay bear culture is still an underground community?

I think that bears are really popular in the gay scene, but it depend where u goes and that counts for every gay. They all go there where they are feeling the best.

There are many types of bears, what kind are you?

Good question some consider me like a bear other take me as a cub. I just say that I am myself as a normal person because I like leather and rubber as well.

When did you find about gay bear culture? How did you start to identify as one?

I remember that I had a bf telling me I was a little bear and i did not react to it when we broke up we stood in good terms and I had another bf who worked in a gay leather bar and there I was confronted with bears and leather guys. It was also there that I visited a bear bar.

Most of people think of “bears” as sweet guys.  However, most seem to wear leather and rubber, which would appear to make them more aggressive.  Is my perception correct?

I must say that I made good and bad experiences in every scene I do not think that one can put that to a gay fetish but to the persons themselves. I know people from rubber and leather scene and they are like u an me.

When did you realize you were gay?

I knew as a little boy already that I was interested in men and when if grew up feelings were getting stronger. I was just 18 when I told people I was gay. I was very lucky because most of my friends were all right with that. My parents were not so happy with it and my stepfather could not accept it. My mother still hopes that if will marry a girl but ok that is her problem. At work everybody knows I am gay and it is accepted.

Are you an activist? What did you think when you saw the Vatican react against the decriminalizing of homosexuality as proposed by France?

I did not follow the recent activities but I know that I have my problem with the Vatican and the reaction against homosexuality. as I am not a person who believes in god or better not in the god catholic church creates I think that the Vatican should be more honest towards people, we are in the 21st century and we know that homosexuality is not an illness or pervert, perhaps they should select their pedophiles out who are so protected under the veil of the church. I had been very lucky till now I just was made remarks by people coz a bf and I were holding hands in the streets people have to be better informed indeed what homosexuality is and that it is more than being a drag queen or a leather guy that we are just people like themselves.

Civil unions are allowed in Luxembourg for same-sex couples.  They were made legal through legislation in 2004.  Civil unions provide welfare and fiscal advantages, but you still can’t adopt children. Are you in a civil union and do you ever want to adopt?

I never had a civil union hehehe. I have not found the right one there. I think it is madness that gay people cannot adopt children as they could be good parents to them as straight people are. The problem in Luxemburg starts already there that adoption law for straight people are very severe.

Is that true that bears like to hug a lot?

Bears do like hug a lot they like the touch and smell each other indeed just without honey. I think they like tenderness but bears are very horny as well and like the sex but they like to cuddle up later as well.

How is a day in your life?

I love being on the chat hehe but I enjoy reading a book cooking do shopping watching movies. I must admit that I have two left hands concerning fixing up things though.

What kind of porn do you like? Do you have a favorite bear porn actor?

I admit I watch gay porn but not especially bear porn and I watch so few lol that I never remember the names of the actors so there is not really a favorite one.

If a bear isn’t hairy, then is he not a bear?

Not really he can be a chaser that means he likes bears or hairy guys. Chubbys for example are very big but not often hairy and still they belong to the group of the bears.

Do you consider yourself to be very sexual? Have you satisfied most of your fantasies?

I am not a child of sadness in my sexual life I have tried a lot and there are still many things to try out hehehe

In your opinion, what is the best way to maintain a healthy sex life without it becoming boring or loosing passion or excitement?

I think the fact of a healthy relationship is communication and trust u have to talk to each other and make clear what kind of relationship you wanna have an open or a monogamous.

How does it work for you do you have an open relationship?

We are together for about half year and we have an open relationship. We have rules and respect them as well.

Growing up as a gay man, in most cases, is not easy.  What has been hardest you’ve had to learn in life?

Gay scene is lots of superficial I think t was hard to find that out in to beginning.

What are your next personal and professional projects?

I have a good job. I am an assistant at autopsy; in my career is not much to be done. I will always be an assistant maybe I am also to lazy to make some career but I like my job and I am happy with it. In my personal way well I hope to stay in good health and that when I retire I can travel a lot.

What advice could you offer to young gay people about living their lives without fear?

There is always good about having a bit of fear. I just wanna say to young gays that life in hiding is not nice. It is not always easy coming out but be honest to yourself and also another thing I wanna say is that enjoy life but take care what u do.

With globalization and the internet, the other parts of the world is are not far away anymore and gay people can find each other easier than ever before.  Many still find pleasure in meeting anonymously, but at the same time it can be risky.  Thoughts on this?

As I say always people know about the risk of safer sex. They take it easy because they think that there is a cure but we are far away from that.

Would you like to be “Mr. Bear Germany” again?

Well I have done my year I was often questioned if I would do it again and I am not sure.

Is there anything else you would like to tell our readers?

One thing I wanna say Happy New Year and CARPE DIEM which means LIVE THE DAY.

EXTRA TEST

If you are the only survivor in an island and have the chance to carry only three things, what would be your items of choice?

Well I suppose many books, DVDs and my music CDs.

What is your ultimate sex fantasy?

Grins well I have several, but I would like to have sex once in middle a crowd of people who do not will notice hehehhe .

With what famous artist would you like to have a night of love?

Well good question I fancied Henry Cavill quite much in The Tudors would not mind have a threesome with him and Brad Pitt.

What are your favorite books, food and movies?

I love noodles very much I could eat them every day as well as rice. I love horror movies but I admit I am a bit romantic so I love some times a nice love story; one of the best books I ever read was Elizabeth I by Claudia Wussowski

What would you consider to be the perfect romantic meeting?

I love to be surprised so I am still waiting for it somehow.

What are you afraid of?

I am afraid of a long illness where I would have to suffer a lot but death would not come.

What are the best and the worst compliments you’ve receieved?

How could they elect u as Mr. Bear Germany if you are too fat?

What is the best and the worst of your personality?

That is not on me to judge what is the best hehe and the worst, mmmh I am a bit of doing every thing the last minute.

What puts you in a bad mood, and what makes you smile?

I am not often in a bad mood. Live is too short. What makes me smile? A joke, a dog running around in the grass, an elderly couple sitting on a bench holding hands and give each other a kiss. That gives me a big smile.

Is there something that makes you scream?

All those animals snakes and frogs and the rest give me the creeps.

What is the best lesson you have learned about life?

You learn every day a lesson and I hope have not had the best lesson yet coz I think I would have missed it hehehehe no life taught me, when you need help do not fear and ask your friends. There is always someone who can help you.

Do you live thinking about the future or do you like to live the present?

I am living in the present. Hate it to make plans for the future.

If you die and come back reincarnated, would you want to be the same person, or who or what would you like to be?

I think I would love to be a dog and hope that I would be in a nice family.

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

Earthly happiness means to me being glad to be in good health, having my friends and my family.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?

Batman.

What don’t you like to see in the world?

War, hunger, terror poverty the Vatican.

Where would you like to live?

I think I would wanna live in Australia for the warmth because I hate the cold. But as I love English history quite much I would wanna live there. Best would be I could beam all the time through world

Who are your favorite characters in history?

I am very interested in English history and I read a lot about Elizabeth I, and Juana (La Loca ) which suffered a hard lot of life coz as well her husband and her father even her son wanted the power.

What would you like to hear from God when you arrive in Heaven?

As I will go to hell I will have nothing to say to God but I will meet all the popes I suppose and I will ask if they loved their hypocrisy.