Stupid Faggot! Sticks, Stones & Words Can Harm!

STUPID FAGGOT……..HOMO……COCK-SUCKER!  How many times have you heard a derogatory remark made about gay people?  How did that make you feel?  Are you a lesser person for your sexual orientation?

How many times have you seen pictures of children and spouses on the desk of those you work with?  Do you have a picture of you and your partner at your workspace?  Is that a right others have you don’t deserve?  Is it right you could be fired for being in love?  You have probably heard these questions asked, and they may even seem to be a bit cliché, but even today, these are still very important questions which do affect your life as a gay, lesbian, bi or transgendered person.  And now, more than ever, these questions need your attention.   Herein lies the importance of COMING OUT!

If you are among the GLBT population, chances are, you are approaching, are at, or have been to the point where coming out becomes an important part of your life.  While some have a relatively easy time with the process, others become overwhelmed or bear this as unthinkable, due to fear of the result.  Unfortunately, when we are considering the issues of exposing this part of our life, there are factors, which influence our decision.   Although I would argue we can not let our sexual orientation define who we are, I would just as strongly argue we must stand up for our rights as citizens, and not tolerate injustices brought on by the factor of sexual orientation.  I strongly feel by coming out, we not only liberate ourselves, but we also educate others, who desperately need it.

Being gay, lesbian, bi or transgendered, is NOT a bad thing. It’s NOT an abomination, nor does not encompass our entire being. This concept however, in many cases, shapes the perceptions of people who make up the world we live in.   Sometimes you must push past your comfort zone in order to make a difference and positive change in the world.

Notably, there are several factors to consider when coming out.  One of the bigger considerations one must face is the financial burden it can place upon us.  Someone who is dependent upon others for their basic life needs such as clothing, food and shelter, run the risk of losing their support.  Others, who may be out to family and friends, are not able to be honest at their place of employment, because of the fear of being fired and losing their income.

Until such a time, that we are protected by the same laws currently protecting the rest of the citizens in this country, often times those fears, which can, and do become reality, prevent us from living our life, as the rest of the population does.  Fear, which is not unwarranted when deciding to come out, often is the determining factor of whether you do or do not.  However, it is as much the fear harbored by others, as it is our own, which make us proceed with such diligent caution when coming out.  Hate is cause by fear, fear is caused by the unknown, the unknown is a product of ignorance, and for many, ignorance is bliss.  What does this mean…….?

It is our duty and responsibility as GBLT persons or supporters, to educate those who are fearful of us, helping to alleviate the unknown.  We bear the burden of becoming educators, in order to end the very fear, which has caused so much hate and endangered, even ended the lives of so many.  As you are aware, there are still a large number of people in this country that view being homosexual as an abomination.

What is the easiest most effective way to do this?  COME OUT! Now, more than ever, it is important for us to be out. Out at home, out at work, and out in public. The more we are seen, the more we will be accepted. I have never been in a mall, grocery store, park, or any other public place where two people, of opposite sex have attracted attention by holding hands. It is a natural thing, and often thought of as “sweet and nice” to see a man and a woman walking arm in arm or hand in hand, yet it is terrifying for many to see to men or two women, and in most parts of this country, will still turn heads, promote slurs, or even antagonize violence. Until the day when it is no more noticeable or unusual to see a same-sex couple in public, then our job is not done.

Again, we bare the burden. It is up to us to align our GLBT sexuality with what is considered main stream. It is not going to be given to us. We all want it. Do your part….and again, COME OUT!

GA Celebrates National Coming Out Day!

Today is National Coming Out Day! It is my sincere hope that each of us will make the effort to do just that. I know there are many of us who feel we are completely out, but until the day we are accepted as part of “normal” society, we are not! I’m certain, that if you put your mind to it, there is an acquaintance, neighbor, co-worker or friend that still doens’t know.

I’ve already covered the importance of why we should come out, but I also feel the need to address the fact there are special considerations for some, especially our younger people, who are dependent upon others, When making that decision.

If you are still living at home, and need the financial assistance of your guardians, then be cautious about coming out. Before you do, ask yourself; what is the worst-case scenario, and can I live with that reaction? Also, make sure you have a strong support group. Coming out can be easy, but it is an ongoing process which can have plenty of pitfalls.

For the rest of us, let’s lead the way by taking a stand. You don’t have to organize a rally or march to make a difference (although that would be great). A simple action can make a huge difference. Making one person aware of behavior that perpetuates stereotypes and negativity towards the GLBT community can change the minds of many.

The next time you hear someone make a disparaging remark about sexual orientation, for example “that’s so gay”, challenge it. You don’t have to be confrontational, but you can make a profound difference by posing a simple question. Ask the person making the reference what offends them, and relate it back. I have often used this approach for in various scenarios in attempt to make people think of how thoughts and words affect others.

One simple question in return can generate enough thought; the offending person is not apt to use that term again. I recall a time when a person told me they were “ok” with me being gay, but the thought of what we (gay people) do (in bed) “grossed them out”. I simply asked; do you think I’m OK with you being straight? You can also point out that you really never consider what they “do” in bed. The point will be adequately apparent, in a non-threatening, non-confrontational way.

Always try to stay positive in your responses. It will make you feel better about yourself, and it will not lend way building even more negativity. Don’t be hypocritical, honor other’s diversity as you would have them honor yours.

Value the importance of coming out. There is truth to the saying “strength in numbers”. If you can, come out! Tell someone you are gay. Let them see that you are really no different from the rest of the human race. By coming out, you are not only being true to yourself; you are changing the world for the better, one person at a time. In the words of Gandhi, “Be the change you want to see in the world”.

I would like to end this post with a message to straight people everywhere. Whether you know it or not, someone you love is gay, whether you know them or not, someone gay is fighting for rights from which we will all benefit.

GLBT Students Still Face Challenges on Campus

From thechanticleeronline.com:

Saturday, October 11, is known as “National Coming Out Day,” which began 21 years ago on October 11, 1987.

According to the Human Rights Campaign’s website (www.hrc.org), over half a million people marched at Washington for the protection of gay and lesbian rights on this day.

Four months after the march, National Coming Out Day was born by Rob Eichberg, who is a founder of The Experience, a personal growth workshop and then leader of the National Gay Rights Advocates, Jean O’Leary.

According to hrc.org, the first National Coming Out Day was covered in 18 states and gained national media attention on the Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, USA Today and National Public Radio.

At Jacksonville State University, Dr. Tina Deshotels, a professor in the Sociology Department, is the faculty advisor for SAFE, Sexual Acceptance for Everyone. SAFE was created in 1996 by a Sociology major who felt that the atmosphere wasn’t GLBT-friendly and felt left out.

“In the notes from one of their first meetings, [the founder] felt that people would question the morality of the group, but stated that the main purpose was to maintain a positive attitude and keep our eyes set on the goal to have everyone accepted at JSU,” Deshotels said.

SAFE, which is currently inactive due to not having an organizational leader, is still available to join and even lead. Still today, their goal of educating about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, has stayed the same.

“When we’ve done activities on education, we’ve really tried to focus on reducing the stereotypes around homosexuality,” Deshotels said. “We just try to normalize the idea of gayness, and break downs some of those myths and stereotypes.”

According to Deshotels, some of the biggest stereotypes that GLBT are faced with are the idea that gays and lesbians try to recruit heterosexuals to become homosexual, the criticism towards gay families and the idea that homosexual families will raise homosexual children.

The fear of “coming out” for many GLBT, has become an obstacle due to fear of how society and their peers will accept them. According to Deshotels, the biggest population at suicide risk is for teens.

Celebrate National “Coming Out” Week

This week is National Coming Out Week.  What is National Coming Out Week?  Well, it’s the week which holds National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day was founded by Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Leary on October 11, 1988 in celebration of the first gay march on Washington D.C. in 1987. The purpose of the march and of National Coming Out Day is to promote government and public awareness of gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights and to celebrate homosexuality.

National Coming Out Day is a time to publicly display gay pride. Many choose this day to come out to their parents, friends, co-workers and themselves.

What does it mean to “come out”?

Coming out is the process of personally accepting your homosexuality and disclosing it to family, co-workers and friends. Coming out is different for every gay or bisexual person. Some experience a lot of pain and anguish while for others acceptance is a joyous time. It’s perfectly normal to experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. Try to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support network. If you don’t have any gay friends or don’t know anyone else coming out, there are plenty of discussion forums to be found on the the internet that have plenty of positive influences.

Also, keep your eye on GayAgenda now through Saturday for our special “Coming Out” post, including an interview with former NBA player John Amaechi!